The Holier-than-thou complex

This is one complex I am 90% sure you have encountered one way or another. You just haven’t put a name to it but don’t worry, I got you covered.

According to Dictionary.com; Holier-than-thou means obnoxiously pious; sanctimonious; self-righteous. In simpler words, it describes anyone who is self-absorbed and thinks he is better or more qualified than others without any solid basis.

A complex is defined as a fixed idea or notion.

The Holier-than-thou complex is defined as a fixed idea or notion of being better than others. The complex thrives on the belief of superiority and projects a false standard of perfection.

Sounds familiar? I thought so. Everywhere you go; there will most likely always be a self-absorbed human you have to deal with. At work, in the neighbourhood, on the way home, people with this complex are everywhere and anywhere.

Ohh, but I absolutely can!

Unfortunately, they are also found in Christian circles too. The complex seems to be even much more pronounced. It thrives on a show of self-righteousness without grace and love which is the backbone of the Christian Faith.

Remember the Pharisees in the Bible; how they always judged and condemned others. They are the perfect examples of the typical “Holier-than-thou”. They believed because they knew God’s law, they couldn’t dine with sinners and that they were better than them. In fact, Jesus Christ, the very son God was seen as inferior to them.

Like how dare they treat Jesus that way, shame on them!!

The complex blinds and segregates, the very opposite of what Christ came to do.

Sadly, there are still Christians who act and think like the Pharisees today.

I was one for a long time too. I thought I was better than some of my friends because I was brought up in a Christian home and I didn’t do what they did at that time. I condemned and looked down on others because of their choice of lifestyle.

Nobody would want to admit that they act like the Pharisees, but actions and attitude reveal whether you and I act like Christ or like the Pharisees.

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I was the 21st century Pharisee. I mean, nobody would readily admit that they act like the Pharisees, but actions and attitude reveal whether you and I act like Christ or like the Pharisees.

Gotta say the truth.

The root cause of the Holier-than-thou complex is the belief of self-righteousness which outrightly contradicts why Christ came.

The Bible explains in Romans 3:10-20 (paraphrase) that no one is good enough, not even one is capable of being righteous (good enough) to access God by his effort but God provided another way. Still not by our effort but by Christ who had no sin.

Romans 3:22 “But we are made right in God’s sight when we trust in Jesus Christ to take away our sins. And we all can be saved in this way, no matter who we are or what we have done.”

Yessss!

Righteousness is not in degrees. You cannot be more righteous than another believer. Your self-righteousness is and will always be filthy because it amounts to nothing but the moment you accept Christ, you receive His righteousness.

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Righteousness is not in degrees. You cannot be more righteous than another believer. Your self-righteousness is and will always be filthy because it amounts to nothing but the moment you accept Christ, you receive His righteousness. Like the scripture above rightly explained, you can never be righteous by your own efforts.

2 Corinthians 5:21 “He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.”

We have Christ’s righteousness and not our self-righteousness. In fact, the very opposite of self-righteousness is Christ’s righteousness.

You need to realize that it is only because of Christ’s sacrifice you are now saved. The only difference between you as a believer and an unbeliever is your decision to accept Christ. If any unbeliever also accepts Christ, he receives the exact measure of righteousness you have received. So you cannot brag about it because it is not by your effort.

You can live out the righteousness that you have received at salvation more than another believer, but you cannot be more righteous than others. Righteousness is far more than doing, it is a state of being. Once you understand that righteousness is not in degrees, you cannot feel like you are more righteous than another believer.

Out goes my self righteousness.

If a believer does not live out the righteousness he has received, it is because he is still ignorant about his God-given ability to live above sin (the whole of Romans 6 deals with this specifically). He has not been properly taught and discipled. Yes, he was deeply flawed and imperfect before salvation but afterwards, he became perfectly redeemed by Christ’ sacrifice.

So the basis for living righteously is not because you are better than others, but because you have received the righteousness of God in Christ. It is who you are, it is a part of you and so you live accordingly.  By consistent prayer and study of the word, you understand this righteousness more and live it out consciously.

Remember any sinner can receive Christ’s righteousness once he believes, which means there is absolutely no basis for the Holier-than-complex in a believer’s life.

I released another episode of my podcast earlier this week titled “What is salvation.” You should listen to it. It explains in detail why and how we receive the righteousness of God through Christ’s sacrifice.

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I share with you because I care so share this with someone you care about.

Love always, Oluwatoyin.

The love language of God.

We are in an era where everyone seeks emotional intelligence and an understanding of their natural psychology. Books and personality tests like: “The 5 love languages”, “16 personalities test”, “The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)” have become increasingly popular. It is not surprising because they help us understand our natural psychology and how to navigate it. Since it is only natural for any human to seek understanding, attention, love; these books and tests help a lot in achieving that. They even help in understanding and analyzing strengths and weaknesses so anyone can improve on their weaknesses and capitalize on their strengths.

If you have ever read any of these books or taken any of the tests, you would agree with me that they help you understand yourself better and why you think or act the way you do. Of course, they won’t be entirely correct but they give you a basic understanding of your natural behavioural patterns.

In Gary Chapman’s book, “The 5 love languages”, he explains that love is expressed to a person in 5 basic languages. Each person has a mixture of one primary love language and two or more secondary love languages. He further explains that until love is expressed to a person in their primary love language or sometimes their secondary love language, they won’t feel as loved as they should. Say, for example, my primary love language is physical touch (meaning the time I feel loved most is when I get physical expressions of love like hugs, touches, cuddles) and my parents keep expressing their love for me through word of affirmation (Kind words, words of encouragement, words of praise), I won’t feel as loved as I ought to because that is not my primary love language.

Now that we get the idea of what a love language is, let’s talk about the love language of God. 

God himself is love. That is his nature, the very essence of who God is. 

I John 4:8 The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love.

God expresses his love in just one form and he receives love in just one form. This is to say that God has just one love language and loving him any other way won’t amount to anything. The love language of God is Jesus Christ, he is the only way to accept and access the overwhelming love of God.

John 14:6 Jesus said to him, I am the way and the Truth and the Life: no one comes to the Father except by (through) me. 

I Timothy 2:5-6 For there is only one God and one mediator who can reconcile God and people. He is the man Christ Jesus. He gave his life to purchase freedom for everyone. This is the message that God gave to the world at the proper time.

God’s love can on be expressed in Jesus Christ because Christ is the very image of God and is God.

Hebrews 1:1 This Son perfectly mirrors God and is stamped with God’s nature. He holds everything together by what he says—Powerful words! After finishing the sacrifice for sins, the son took his honored high in the heavens right alongside God.

Only faith in Christ can give you access to the Father. Only in Christ can you access the fullness of all that God has for you because you become changed once you believe in Jesus Christ. You don’t remain the same, your identity has changed, and even more, your DNA has changed been changed to God’s own.

1 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold the fresh and new has come!

In fact, Paul in his epistles speaks constantly about being in Christ. He used phrases like “in Christ”, “in him”, “in the Lord” over 160 times! 

The identity of any man should only be found in Christ because he is the only way to the Father. Jesus Christ is and will always be the love language of God.

Do share this with someone you care about. I share this with you because I care.

Love always, Oluwatoyin.